‘So do not use the pain-body to give you an identity. Use it for enlightenment instead. Transmute it into consciousness.’Eckhart TolleSo often we become unconscious in our relationships and miss opportunities to bring consciousness into them. We become trapped in the cycle of shifting responsibility, blame and guilt.
Whenever we find ourselves within conflict in our relationships we can so easily pause and remember this cycle.
RESPONSIBILITY – BLAME – GUILT When we bring this to mind and choose to be really honest with ourselves by asking ourselves what is it that we are not claiming responsibility for we can instantly bring consciousness into the situation.
In the first instance we may find ourselves saying ‘But they did this to me’ or ‘they said they would do this and didn’t’ but by choosing to become present you will find that there is something that you are not taking responsibility for.
You may not see it at first; you may not want to as the power of the ego can be temporarily quite satisfying.
Every conflict in relationships is bringing to the surface something that can be addressed and in turn strengthen and grow your relationships. By choosing to focus on what you are ‘doing’ rather than what is being ‘done’ to you, you instantly remove any room for victimisation.
You become proactive rather than reactive.
Whenever you start to blame someone you are in relationship with for something, this is a sign that there is something you have not taken responsibility for and are trying to shift that responsibility onto the other person. You then blame them in an effort to relinquish yourself from any responsibility... or you play the victim.
If they are also in this cycle of unconsciousness they will then try to defend themselves and shift responsibility back to you. It is a no win situation. The issue needs to be addressed and as Tolle write ‘Transmuted into consciousness.’
You are then creating guilt, which is where you are able to hide the fact that you shifted responsibility successfully... or so you think.
This is really a very simple approach to take with your relationships.
Awareness is the first step!
Happy Manifesting!
Julieanne
'The word honey isn’t honey. You can study and talk about honey for as long as you like, but you won’t really know it until you taste it.’Eckhart Tolle
This is a fundamental truth of spiritual experience. We can memorise, intellectualise, theorise and profess understandings of spiritual experience but until we have actually had a spiritual experience how can we know what it is?
This is why we focus on the present moment as there is no other place to experience anything. You can’t experience anything in the future... it will be experienced in the Now and the same for the past.
If we are truly searching for the experience of presence all we need do is stop... be still. Choose to become aware of what we are doing and are surrounded by.
Tolle writes in an earlier chapter about accepting whatever is happening now. If you are for instance feeling lazy, then immerse yourself completely into the laziness. Feel it, experience it. When we choose to accept what is we remove any opportunity for guilt or blame and take responsibility for ourselves.
When we are not feeling guilty or blaming others for what
is or what
is not we can then begin to look at why we are experiencing the world with the perception we have of it.
For some of us we are happy with our perception of the world around us - for others, not so much. If you find yourself in the ‘not so much’ category choose to be still and accept.
One way that is sure to bring you out of the present moment is denial... so choose not to deny what is happening around you. When you choose not to deny a circumstance you give yourself something to work with; something to work with in the present moment -which, of course, is the only place that anything can be worked on.
Choose the experience! Choose to feel your circumstance! Choose to feel life! And choose to do it now... because it is the only ‘time’ you can.
Happy Manifesting!
Julieanne